Not Right Now: X-Factor Australia

This is a joke right? Ashton? Where are you? Am I being Punkd?

Supposedly it cost 25 million dollars to put this monstrosity of a show together. 25 million dollars and what do we have to show for it?

I'll tell you. Absoultely nothing.

We do have however:

1. One crazy ageing wannabe rocker. Give me a fucking break. That tourtured genuiness act - you serious? You're not Bono, or Michael Hutchence! Get over your fucking self and eat some humble pie. When you've ACTUALLY made it, then you can hide in a cave all you want and act like you're a mental patient at leisure and we won't think you're a toss.

2. Mahogany? Pine at best! You're Guy Sebastians back up singers for a reason, because you aren't meant for the spotlight.

3. Sally Chatfield. Chat by name and chat by nature. If Casey Donavan couldn't make it with that wannabe Evanescence/Neo-Gothic crap, what hope do you have? Say it with me, Sunlight!

4. Luke and Joel. ummmm......WTF! Tone deaf and trying to perform aspirationally with their dopey expressions and outstreteched arms like Mother Teresa. How bout - exuding as much conviction as the Blue Wiggle. Honestly. Don't make me laugh.

5. India Rose who is she!?

6. Crooner's name who I can't remeber. Why? Because you're forgetable 

7. Other girl - Lady Gaga called. She wants her coat back. 

Lets be real for a minute here. LEONA LEWIS was a winner of the X-Factor UK. THAT is the kind of standard that you've have to compete against. None of these people can hold a candle to her. 

Now, don't get me wrong, we love a good talent show, but only when there is real talent there. Clearly none of these people have the X-Factor.

So the 25 million dollar question is, where did that 25 million dollars actually go?

Maybe it was that epic soundtrack in the judges intro glofiying them as some celebrity Gods. Arrogant much? How bout you calm down and come back down to reality. 

We think the money went to Snoop Dogg's "kids all over town" trust fund! Is this some Hot Right Now trend emerging? Giving money to Snoop Dogg? X-Factor, Jessica Mauboy, who's bloody next?

Hot Right Now: Investment in talent with a high ROI. 

Not Right Now: 25 million dollar white elephants. It could have been better spent on real ones in a wild life santuary.

X-FAIL

"Why?" She asks