Friday, October 8, 2010

Not Right Now: Dr Philbook

I think most of you will concur with me on this, we’re sick of rambling status updates complaining about life’s tough times or seemingly overwhelming triumphs.

Nobody cares if you love your boyfriend so much that you’d hold you breath long enough that your pinky toe turns blue and falls off, but he won’t reply to your texts because he’s gone pig shooting with your best friends dad’s cousin.

These random, pointless, long-winded, often incoherent, tedious, boring, stupid “updates” are a detriment to your social standing, and probably your brain cells. Basically you’ll be getting “nodates” if you keep this shit up.

If it was in a post on your best friend's page, fair enough, I’m sure that she’d care that your 3-year-old child swam 2 metres at swimming lessons last week without floaties, and you bought her a new Roxy for kids bikini because she’s such a super star, but the rest of your 347 “friends” couldn’t give two hoots and frankly it’s clogging up their news feed.

So it's time to stop. Grazie!

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