Not Right Now: Guzman Y Gomez

WARNING: RANT ALERT

WOW. The idiocy of this establishment is truly incredible.

They really have proven my theory that they are:

cheap, cheap, cheap!

Australian eateries are usually quite on the money with service but somehow Guzman Y Gomez is an exception to the rule as my following anecdote will reveal.

First of all I need to set the context of my situation.

I love a good burrito! And so should I. They are tasty and delectable and I could eat them every day if my hips allowed me too. Alas my hips don't lie and I restrict my treat to one per week for fear of uncontrollable ballooning weight. 

I digress - Back to my order.
I'm consistent, and loyal, and order the same thing every time.

"One Chicken Gurrero Burrito on a whole wheat tortilla. No rice. Extra chicken. And a side of sour cream please."


They don't put the sour cream inside as it makes the burrito soggy. Their rule, not mine and not matter how hard I try, they refuse.  Alas I'm happy if I get it in any way shape of form.

I make this order, as I believe the rice to be too much. In fact at least 70% the contents of the standard burrito. As expressed before, weight management is a contentious issue with me and that overwhelming unnecessary simple carb on carb - I can go without. So I choose to order the burrito, whole wheat, extra chicken (for more of a protein hit), sans rice, side of sour cream.

Artist's Impression - If only this were true

CHEAP FACTOR ONE. Filling the burrito with an unnecessary and overwhelming volume of low costing jasmine rice (which is Asian - Not Mexican might I add) is not what traditionally goes in a burrito, but also a cost cutting means for not using too much meat. Pet peeve one! Why more people don't see the unbalanced nature of this meal, I will never know. Every time I go in...I correct the dietary mess that is this burrito like an obsessive compulsive 75 year old man flicking a light switch on and off at least 5 times just to make sure.....the light is indeed off.  

In the past I made the rookie mistake of ordering without rice only to find my burrito was 1/3 of the standard size. Hardly a substantial meal, hence I will happily pay the extra $2 for that slice of protein heaven. 

Every week, I get my loyalty card stamped. With every burrito I consume to get closer to that 11th free burrito holy grail.

Fast forward to the highly anticipated day I would receive my free burrito. I did speculate if they would give me the extra chicken worth a whole $2 with my free burrito as that had been the status quo of my order over for the last 10 burritos. Given my first cheap factor preconceived notion, I was actually quite skeptical on whether they would honour this.

“One Chicken Gurrero Burrito on a whole wheat tortilla. No rice. Extra Chicken. And a side of sour cream please.”

Hands my loyalty card over for redemption.  

“Ummm....ummmm....” (counter man makes confused look, freaks out and calls manager over)....

I wait with baited breath.

Manager comes out and says “That will be $2 for the extra chicken.”

BOOM! Extra Chicken conspiracy theory proven valid!

This got my back up something alarming and I started to state my case of my previous 10 visits to the establishment the status quo of my order. A spades a spade right? Wouldn't that be the same for a burrito? Wouldn't the value of each burrito stamp equate to the value of my bespoke burrito? In turn the free burrito making that value? You would think so.....but.
 

The response - "Nah bro I don't make the rules." This pissed me off even more.


Furthermore, where on that damn loyalty card does it have a disclaimer saying "Free Burrito - However, if you want guacamole or extra meat or extra cheese, or special spice imported from Mexico carried on the back of a donkey lead by a poor senorita, that will cost you extra"? It doesn't! Douche-bag!  

Maybe you don't make the rules and clearly you don't have a brain, but it doesn't take a genius to work out it would be good customer service to offer that $2's worth of chicken for free. I thought good customer service was keeping the customer happy? Seems logical right? Apparently not Mr Manager seems to only focus on dollars rather then using his cents. FAIL NUMBER 1 GUZMAN Y GOMEZ.

Again, X-Factor Girl asks "Why?"

Why would I go back there again now? If my loyalty wasn't $2 for the extra chicken, "why bother?" I ask myself. 

Word of mouth is the most strongest means of promotion. That $2 now is now going to cost them my repeat business, but also incite the bad PR and word of mouth that I'm going to perpetuate. FAIL NUMBER 2 GUZMAN Y GOMEZ.

So me being me, self righteous and assertive, I express said points above verbally to Mr "Bro I don't make the rules" - telling him I think it’s bad business and this is crap.

They then force me to use my EFTPOS card to cover the $2. $2 you may think is a petty amount to write this post over, but I stress, that it's the principal of the matter.  

My eyes dart like daggers straight to the customer satisfaction card, which I deem useless if they can't one, pacify an angry customer, and two, realise that precious extra chicken worth $2 they just couldn't bring themselves to part with, might actually be worth overlooking in the bigger picture. You piss one customer off, you never know who they’ll tell. Heck! They may even right a blog post on it that hundreds of people actually read. Dumb fucks.

Customer feedback card reads:

- No. I'm not satisfied

- No. your staff were not helpful or friendly

- No. I will not be coming back to your establishment

- No. I will not be recommending you to anyone

- Yes. I will be discouraging people not to come to your establishment

- No. You cannot contact me you cheap fucks

CHEAP. CHAT. $2. FAIL. FUCK YOU.

Not Right Now: Guzman Y Gomez. Getting a fucking clue. 

Here's a nice map of where NOT to go!