Hot Right Now: Spring Break Up's And Summer Hook Up's

Spring has most definitely sprung bringing with it a monsoon of break up's and broken hearts. But we know better.

"Look! I can do the splits!"

It would seem that it's hot right right now to get hot right now in the lead up to a sexy summer of single sluttiness. And don't try and pretend with us. WE KNOW what goes on in the minds of the seasonal birds of prey and WE KNOW that there's no longer a need for that comporting safe monogamous psudo-relationship perfect for those dirty snuggly nights in. Especially now the cold winter evenings have been bid adieu!

Gyms around the country are filling up quick and reaching peak capacity with newly single gals and guys desperately seeking banging bodies and 2.0 versions of themselves for the fast approaching skanky silly season.

Many are left shaking their heads in panic as some wished they'd said no to that extra bottle of red wine or resisted the temptation of that extra slice of cheese cake. That moment on the hips has now cost them at least 1/2hr extra on the treadmill. Time's running out bitches.

Still ain't got em girl!

Beer guts and love handles may have been overlooked by your sympathetic psudo-significant other but on the beach they are as unforgiving as Jessica Mauboy's rainbow vomit leotard in Get Em Girls. Still a Not Right Now.

Don't dispear. All your HARD work POUNDING the pavement will be worth it in the end. As unleashing you inner slut cat will give you a silaciaous summer you won't forget. The kind that leaves you with an accendote you'd tell your kids when it comes to that awkward moment of them asking you "where babies come from?" Or "why they were born, and how come their birthday is October?"

We'll tell you why kiddies! Cause mummy and daddie couldn't help themselves to a Summer/New Years fling of playing hide the sausage.

Fair game on moles.