Monday, November 8, 2010

Not Right Now: The ARIAs

Unless you've been living under a rock, you would know of the epic mess shit bomb that was the 2010 ARIA Awards. I have been thinking of ways in which I can articulate the failure that aired last night, but I'm really not going to know of just how I can say this.

If you could vomit on your plasma television and watch the chunks drip down the screen for 2 and a half hours, this could have been more substantial than what I (and luckily only 600,000 other australians) endured. This ratings nightmare only scraped the 15th most viewed program on Sunday night which in itself is a disaster. The production company behind this rubbish should have their ABN shredded.

A terrible minimalist format left the show looking shabby and unprofessional. Presenters struggled to read the tele prompter and embarrassed themselves and the network with elementary slips which would have left the blind, deaf, dumb and stupid shaking their heads in awkwardness.

You were probably too disgusted to realise that we were looking at a celebration of Australian music industry 
talent, so for those of you who missed it whilst watching this joke they called a telecast, here are the award winners of both the technical and public voted categories.

Album of the Year

Angus & Julia Stone -- Down The Way

Single of the Year

Angus & Julia Stone -- Big Jet Plane

Best Group

The Temper Trap -- Love Lost

Breakthrough Artist

Washington

Best Independent Release

Sia -- We Are Born

Best Female Artist 

Washington

Most Popular Australian Artist

Powderfinger

Most Popular Australian Album

Powderfinger -- Golden Rule

Most Popular Australian Single

The Temper Trap -- "Sweet Disposition"

Most Popular International Artist

Mumford & Sons

Best Pop Release

Sia -- We Are Born (Monkey Puzzle/Inertia)

Best Rock Album

Birds Of Tokyo -- Birds Of Tokyo (EMI)

Best Adult Alternative Album

Angus & Julia Stone -- Down The Way (Original Matters/EMI)

Best Country Album

The McClymonts -- Wrapped Up Good (UMA)

Best Adult Contemporary Album

Crowded House -- Intriguer (UMA)

Best Comedy Release

Andrew Hansen, Chris Taylor & Craig Schuftan -- The Blow Parade (ABC Music)

Best Classical Album

Paul Dyer and Australian Brandenburg Orchestra -- Tapas -- Tastes Of The Baroque (ABC Classics)

Best Jazz Album

James Morrison & The Idea Of North -- Feels Like Spring (ABC Jazz)

Best Dance Release

Yolanda Be Cool and Dcup -- We No Speak Americano (Sweat it Out/Central Station Records)

Best Urban Album

M-Phazes -- Good Gracious (Obese Records)

Best Blues & Roots Album

Dan Sultan -- Get Out While You Can (MGM)

Best Children's Album

The Wiggles -- Let's Eat! (ABC Music)

Best Original Soundtrack/Cast/Show

Various -- Before Too Long: Triple J's Tribute to Paul Kelly (ABC Music)

Best Hard Rock/ Heavy Metal Album

Parkway Drive -- Deep Blue (Resist Records/Shock)

Best Music DVD

Various -- Sound Relief (Liberation Music)

Best World Music Album

Mamadou Diabate, Bobby Singh & Jeff Lang -- Djan Djan (ABC Music)

Notable mentions to the Hot Right Now goddess Sia. Dripping in gold, this Hot Right Now favourite won 2 awards on the Australian music industries, ahem, night of nights, nabbing best Pop Release and Best Independent Release.

Some advice to Angus & Julia Stone. Your music is top notch, but learn to deal with the public or get your publicist to muzzle you, because we think its not right now to waste our time listening to dribble which is just irrelevant.

Hot Right Now, Australian Music. Not Right Now, how it is butchered on Television for the world to see.

This shit bomb sizzle reel will have you squirming with discomfort like that first time you ever watched the video for Get Em Girls. 



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