Hot Right Now: The Des'ree Parody Twitter Account

Growing up in the 90s, artists with little talent, gumption or any form of spark were able to incubate 'careers' sounding a little like the sound of a small animal being wedged underneath a tyre... But without the same emotional effect on the listener.

Epic flop artist Des'ree is definitely one of these. But we have to say that the best thing about this artist is that her legacy has given birth to one of the most entertaining Twitter accounts we have ever seen.

Characteristic to the all but forgotten artists breakthrough 'hit', tweets are punchy and roll off the tongue like a nursery rhyme, sans the charm.

Des'ree ‏@desree_life

What about this fucking snow? Chilly winds begin to blow. Public transport starts to slow. Shat it down in Wales you know.

Des'ree ‏@desree_life

Off to Tesco to buy horse. Not really, just brown sauce. Then I’ll watch Inspector Morse. And have sexual intercourse.

Characteristic to the all but forgotten artists breakthrough 'hit', tweets are punchy and roll off the tongue like a nursery rhyme, sans the charm.

Her followers enjoy using the same literary 'haiku' like structure in expressing their distaste for the artist, but with a macabre appreciation for her articulation.

Craig Williams ‏@DT100

@desree_life Des'ree all your songs were shite You need to get a f**king life Twitter parody accounts are rife Causing me a lot of strife

The sheer depth of brilliance on this account can also be seen when in fact the author tracks the followers, and heckles contextually at their departure. The depth of this tragic account is nothing short of brilliant.

Des'ree ‏@desree_life

.@DT100 Unfollow then you twat. Doo do do do

Treat yourself to the regular updates and chuckle away at a now infamous artist who's singular hit will resonate amongst the nostalgia of the 90s, which if you remember, had as much rubbish as there was talent.

Do do do, do yourself a favour check this out. You'll leave in tears.

Hot right now: Des'ree and her legacy, through the eyes of a closet hater (fan).

Life, Oh Life...

Hot Right Now: Bringing back the Blog

After an extended hiatus, there was a bone in the skeleton of life that was just left unpicked; HRN | NRN needed to be resurrected. 

Too much was left to say...

Like Destiny's Child, despite having success without a united front, we just know that people like content in three's. Our blog however doesn't have a Michelle dragging the chain, thank the lord.

Our gaggle of writers are ready to gas bag their way back into this war on everything, and we hope you enjoy the newly rebranded HRN|NRN site, as well as our fresh new content, coming to you as quickly as we can smash it out.


Nothing cool is without comment. Nothing tragic is safe from lingual destruction.

Hot right now: Having something to say, and realising that a formal portal of projection which was once revelled, was always relevant and in need of nurturing.

You can follow our journey on our Facebook too PS: right here

We're back.

Hot Right Now: The Department Store Christmas Option

For those who have taken advantage of this, it is Hot Right Now to enjoy one more month off paying for all of those presents that you swiped into your households!


The Christmas option, for those who are unfamiliar is the ability to purchase goods from David Jones department stores on your David Jones credit card, and not have to actually put any money up until February of the following year. So you bought that bottle of Tom Ford Spritz and it tasered the pocket? Heck forget it, worry about it in February, when they will lump you with the pleasure of your december dollar dabble with a compiled devine delayed debt extravaganza.


It depends which way you look at it, but I'd like to think it's a big plus if you are sensible. If you're a spendster who lives week to week, well... Nice knowin' you.


Thank you David Jones. This is definitely a hot right now; Almost (yes, almost) excuses the Food Hall circus.

Not Right Now: The Beach Towel Currency

In the summer months it is a given that you will be joining your friends at the beach. The most common way to kick it in the sunshine is to car pool, as we all know that the buses are just too crammed and at $8.00 an hour, 6 cars between 7 people is just not cost efficient.


What seems to be natural of course is that somewhere along the line, you will sacrifice your beach towel in the back seat of Michelle's Festiva, or in the boot of Michael's Astra. This is your deposit in exchange for your day of sand sauntering. I introduce to you, the Beach Towel Currency.


Why is it that we do not, regardless of the price of a beach towel, factor it into consideration when we are auditing our things post dip. The final destination (Vehicle or premises) will almost always acquire the occupants beach towel if they do not live there, and after a whiz in the washing machine, will take up residence in the new owners linen press.


However, next outing this towel will go out with its new owner, which potentially will be carpooling with someone else, and the process begins once again.



It is Not Right Now to have a complacent attitude with regards to your beach towels whereabouts. It is however Hot Right Now to inflate your collection of beach accessories. Next time you do your Phone, Keys, Wallet tap check, if you're in board shorts, add towel to that list!

Not Right Now: When One is Socially Apt Virtually, but not Physically.

In the techno age of the 'noughties' where socializing has become that much easier, it seems it is more common to see the youth of today not only forget the process of social etiquette, but apparently, discard the quality all together. 

I was in a nightclub on the weekend and I must have seen at least 25 people who I would have on my Facebook friends list. The sad thing is, that when eye contact was made with these people, they barely raised an eyebrow, or in some cases pretended they did not even see me and walk away. Ok so this is bad enough, but would you believe it gets worse.

These people proceed to leave a message on my wall in the days following the night out saying something to the effect of "was good to see you out this weekend" or "you're looking well".

I have no words...

The concept of virtual distance has been receiving a lot of academic recognition in recent times, where people have been known to solve grievances by hiding behind emails, despite sitting back to back in a cubical with someone they are talking to. Has society gone mad where we cannot approach someone physically and interact?

The Facebook news feed gives rise to an increase of this in our everyday life. People being social passengers has taken the place of physically standing up and being socially counted, and accountable.

If you know of these hangers on, you should remove them immediately from your 'friends' list, as these illusive creatures clearly enjoy the 'obligation free' pry into my life, with no social strings attached. This is social obsurdity at its finest.

It is hot right now to say hello and not be a filthy stare bear from a shadowy corner. Being a sociopath is not right now because frankly you just look moronic when you make contact online, if you can't front up and back it up in person.

Earn social points not by keystrokes, but by handshakes, and simply asking to someones face: "How are you?"

There's a good start right there.

Hot Right Now: Mob Mentality

We've all had to deal with the shit that is the Sydney Public Transport system (see NRN post here) but today I was a part of an interesting display of human behaviour and phenomena called "Mob Mentality."

No need for witty comment here. Said.

Traditionally mob mentality has come with the negative perception of violence and unruly riots of the great unwashed, acting out to get what they want, leaving behind a path of destruction and debris.

Today I witness and was a part of a different mob mentality.

I catch the bus every morning. The passenger variance of my bus is quite high with some days everyone is seated happily and some days not. People have experience it. Solve their own personal public transport problems by catching an earlier bus or getting on a stop ahead of their usual norm. Nature of the beast.

It is no surprise to anyone (despite how unacceptable it is) when the bus is overloaded (with the maximum amount of passengers 15) it will skip the next stop. It is also no surprise when the bus driver stops any sneaky passenger trying to force their way on once quota is reached. Again, despite how shit this situation is, the bus driver is well in his rights to deny people a ride should he feel the safety of his already existing passengers is in compromise. After all, they can get fined and could lose their job. Fair enough.

So today - an overloaded bus, two skipped bus stops later, we arrive at one particular city stop (to which there are many an alternative means of transport is available should this one fail) two women force themselves onto the bus after being denied by the driver. In a display of ignorance, one of them dips her travel pass despite clearly hearing the driver say "the bus is full, no more passengers."

Bus driver says "You need to get off the bus; I cannot drive the bus with more than 15 people standing. You need to get off."

Woman says "It's just one stop, it’s nothing."

Bus Driver says "No, I cannot drive the bus, I get fined. Please get off the bus."

The argument continues for at least a minutes and builds up with more words exchanged. People are yelling out to the woman to get off the bus. Others yell out you're making us late for work. All of a sudden things go silent as the Mexican standoff between the stubborn woman who refuses to get off the bus and the bus driver and his band of loyal/pissed off passengers comes to head.

*eearry silence*

In a fit of frustration I yell out "CLEARLY the bus isn't going anywhere....so get the fuck off!"

The bus load of people breaks out in laughter.

You would think, that after failing to get approval from the bus driver and the added embarrassment of being shamed by a passenger, you would admit defeat and retreat while you still had some dignity? I thought wrong. This woman keeps on persisting.

Find the witch! Kill the witch! RAR RAR RAR!

In an attempt to solve the bus hostage at the mercy of this middle aged woman in her sports jacket, an angry passenger yells out "OPEN THE BACK DOOR" and gets off in a flamboyant huff martyr like ceremonial sacrifice that could rival the great human sacrifices of the Aztec's. Personally, I thought the guy was a dickdead and didn't accomplish anything in the end in this self-sacrificing act but hey, whatever floats your boat dude.

It now becomes 5 minutes into the halt and more and more passengers become increasingly frustrated. The jeers becoming more frequent as the peanut gallery of passengers throw in their 2 bobs worth of comment. Again I feel the need to publically yell out "Why would you even want an awkward bus ride now?!"

In a bid to get the bus moving, despite being 1 passenger up (now with the martyr off the bus), the bus driver succumbs to allowing her to ride.

I should mention woman two taking a more low key approach, having already paid and not attempting to fight the mob of angry passengers, woman one dips her bus pass only to find her ticket is invalid which the bus driver is so quick to point out. He demands that she pays. Woman starts to scramble in her wallet to find another ticket. She dips. Another invalid ticket! The jeers become louder and more frequent and more intense. The bus driver repeats "INVAID TICKET INVAID TICKET." Woman continues to scramble. The jeers get louder "GET OFF THE BUS. GET OFF THE BUS."

What felt like a hopeless situation suddenly becomes resolved, the woman finally succumbs to the mob mentality and gets of the god damn bus and into the dagger stares of the martyr passenger sitting on the bus seat outside. During this glorious moment, a wave of clapping and cheering sweeps over the bus.

Bus departs stop. Life goes on albeit late for work.

FAIL. Love - it's not in your best interests pissing off the bus driver and the passengers who you are probably going to see every day. Unless you're a glutton for punishment, it will just be awkward every time you get on the bus. I don't foresee this woman showing her face on the bus anytime soon. Dumb bitch.

Hot Right Now: Mob mentality getting things done.

Not Right Now: Idiotic, self righteous people thinking they can beat the mob mentality

Hot Right Now: Cute bus driver with the akubra hat standing his ground

Not Right Now: Sydney Buses. Put some more god damn buses on in peak time

Lesson: Don't mess with the bus driver!

Hot Right Now: Introducing Plant Life to your Home

Spring is in full swing and what better time than now to introduce a some  chlorophyl happiness into your living room.


For under $20.00 you can jazz up your drab apartment with a bunch or two, because lets face it, nothing speaks arrogance like a nice bunch of flowers.


Flowers smell great and make you look like you actually give a damn. Take the pictured Aram Lilles for example. Very perrrty.


It is hot right now to have a dwelling flora injection.  Don't let them rot in dirty water though, throw them out when the time comes. Dirty flowers are a not right now.